Silence can be “golden”, but not when misapplied. Let me take you back to grade school. Do you remember how, when you were mad at someone, you gave them the silent treatment? Do you remember having an I’ll show you attitude, while waiting for them to notice and respond? The trouble with some adults is they take these childlike games into adulthood.
It’s time for a dose of Adult Reality: Sometimes no one is going to save you except for you.
Here’s 5 Tips to Get Over yourself and Stop Taking Everything so Personal:
- Own your mess. None of us are perfect, but some of us are messy. Is your name often in the middle of chaos, confusion and commotion? If so, there is something that needs to change and it’s YOU. [The question is, what do you need to change? Environment, associations, your attitude/ reactions/responses/maturity? Perhaps you need to pursue counseling to finally heal from past damage so you can stop carrying it into every new relationship or friendship and creating confusion, chaos and drama.]
- Everyone is not out to get you. As unique, lovely and special as you are, EVERYONE in the world is not out to get you. Cut the woe is me, why is everyone always picking on me routine. Everyone is not and, if you truly believe anyone is always picking on you, feel free to get up and move.
- Be quiet. A part of maturity is knowing when you need to refrain from certain situations – including environments and people – that are toxic to your health. Don’t overthink it, over analyze it or explain your stance to death. Simply do what is in the best interest to you without causing harm. Sometimes you need to stabilize your environment and take some quiet time so you can think clearly and decide the next best course of action.
- Think Twice. It might appear easier to say what’s on your mind and snap at a person, but there are repercussions and a price to pay. Remember the cliché don’t burn bridges? Ask yourself how much is the relationship worth to you vs. the cost of being right? In the heat of the moment, you might be focused on “being right”. After the fire dies down, the person that you just knew was “set out to destroy you”, might have been the ally that you just lost by blowing things out of proportion.
- Apologize. Ignoring the “Elephant in the Room” does not make it go away. As a matter of fact, as you feed it, the elephant will eventually outgrow the room and take over. The sooner the better, make amends and offer an apology, especially if the relationship means anything to you. Some might find apologizing difficult, but so is trying to apologize when it’s too late and reconciliation is out of the question.
–Alesha Brown, The Joy Guru
Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker and Best Selling Author
CEO, Alesha Brown LLC