Let’s be real: we all have had that one relationship where we gave our best and hoped to receive something in return only to end up feeling used and not appreciated. We thought if we showed ourselves friendly then the other person would be friendly as well. Our expectations were never met. No matter what age you were or the type of relationship, I bet you have at least one relationship where this was true.
Here is what you need to know:
This has nothing to do with your worth, rather, it has everything to do with if you acknowledge your worth. If you don’t know your worth, you will constantly give yourself away for free and expecting that everyone will be appreciative of the gift that is you. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I use the following analogy in some of my signature speeches:
You might be the best coffee in the world but you will never be appreciated by a non-coffee drinker. Don’t spend time trying to convince the non-coffee drinker how great you are. Promote your value to the coffee lovers who actually want coffee!
As simple as this might sound, it is not what a lot of us do. Singles, for example, will cast their net out into the sea and go for the first thing they hook. Whatever lands in the net is what they try to work with and present their best to. When it doesn’t work out, they repeat the same pattern over and over again, hoping that eventually they will attract the ideal catch and live happily ever after. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Check your bait. If you throw your net out often enough, you will always “catch” something. Do you want something to land in your net or do you have an ideal object in mind? Do you want fish or crabs? Do you want a particular type of fish? Do you have specifications, expectations and a desired taste? If so, there is different bait that must be used and different waters that you must fish in or you will never catch what you desire.
Too many people are casting their nets into murky water but expecting a clean and pristine catch only to end up with an old tire or seaweed. And although you might be able to re-purpose these things, some of what you “catch” will never serve your true desires or purpose.
When you examine your relationships, despite the type of relationship, are you a “friend” or a “service provider?” Click below to take the test and discover the solution.
Alesha Brown, The Joy Guru
Publisher|Best Selling Author|Transformational Speaker
CEO, Alesha Brown LLC