Today I have mixed emotions. I am so happy for all the amazing things happening in my life right now, especially things coming to fruition that have been years in the making. At the same time, my heart is heavy and grieves.
As a child abuse survivor who grew up in a family generationally plagued by mental illness, I know all too well the weight of depression, PTSD, and shame. I also know what it’s like to contemplate suicide as an escape.
While seasonal depression and grieving loved ones during the holidays are normal feelings, many have been bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders for far too long and are at their breaking point. That breaking point determines the quality of one’s life as well as one’s very existence.
Here are my best tips if you find yourself in this situation:
1. Acknowledge your feelings with no condemnation. We are our own worst critics. We often beat ourselves up if we feel tired, can’t seem to get our thoughts together, or are overwhelmed with sadness. Negative thoughts and language shower down, and we say things to ourselves like:
What if you took the time to acknowledge your feelings instead of making statements like the above? What if you accepted that you are tired, hurt, sad, or empty/lost? What if you took a moment to admit how you feel and verbally acknowledge the state you are in? I’m not telling you to feel hurt and cry every day for the next few years, but I am saying to stop trying to “get over it” or mask your pain with busy work. You will never seek help or resolve your issues if you refuse to acknowledge them first.
2. Talk to someone. The worse thing you can do is hide your feelings or keep them to yourself. Quietness and hiding are the perfect breeding grounds for pain multiplication, self-harm, and suicide. Quiet suffering is why many people are members of the walking dead: still breathing but barely existing. You deserve better. Whether it is a therapist, friend, or hotline, please talk to someone. Do not feel ashamed to reach out because everyone needs help sometimes.
3. Seek therapy. Therapy does have stigmas, but that is not your problem. We all need a checkup from time to time, which is why annual health checkups exist. Like anything, there is a doctor that is the perfect fit for you/your condition, and therapists should be viewed similarly. If one therapist rubs you the wrong way or you feel uncomfortable with them, seek another therapist versus refusing help. While trying to find the perfect fit, utilize the free therapy online resources and tools.
Life can be challenging, but not to the point where suicide feels like the only way out. I’ve been there, and one of the reasons I have so much joy today is because I am glad that I am still alive. All the things that I thought would overtake me did not. And all the times that I thought life was no longer worth living, I was wrong. In the end, those things made me and strengthened me. And the awesomeness of my life now, which is a stark contrast to the pain of yesteryears, is why I guard my peace, joy, and wellness at all strength.
Life after can be a glorious one, regardless of what state you are in today, but you must LIVE in order to experience the glory. Believe me when I say, you are worth it!
Go in peace and power, Beloved,
Alesha Brown, CEO, Fruition Publishing Concierge Services®
Editor-in-Chief, Published! Magazine™
Award-Winning Entrepreneur|Publisher|Transformational Speak
