I’ve been in training for Coronavirus my entire life

At first, I thought I was crazy. Our stay-at-home order for COVID-19 seemed natural to me. Yes, I went through the panic, rebellion and mild shock stages, but I focused more on the action/prep and prevention mode. I felt really weird at how natural this was for me and how, except for a few inconveniences, I was pretty comfortable with being confined. But after some reflection, I realized a shocking truth:

I was always confined in various ways. As a sickly child who missed more than 50% of every school year until 9th grade, I often had to adjust to working from home vs. school. I had to deal with how to learn, complete assignments and advance without the benefit of the same instruction and interaction everyone else received.

I lived in a constant state of fear, uncertainty and the possibility of hurt/harm and danger. As an abused child and living with a parent with mental illness, my entire childhood was full of uncertainty, insecurity, anger, fear and the possibility of hurt, harm and danger. Heck, in several decades I have survived depression, mental and emotional abuse, abandonment, poverty, racism, discrimination, suicidal thoughts, a near-fatal car accident, debilitating illness, chronic pain …the list goes on and on.

I know what it’s like to lose everything.  We hold so much value into the most insignificant things in life until we lose them. From jobs to people; from money to titles. We attribute so much value to things that mean absolutely nothing on our deathbed or in the grand scheme of life. I know what it’s like to lose employment, money, loved ones I cherished as well as basic body functions such as walking and slicing an apple. No matter what type of pain or medical episode I experience, I always think of a time when I couldn’t take more than three steps or use a knife to cut an apple. I remember having to train myself on how to make a sandwich or hold a glass while I took my medicine. 

Yes, life has a way of humbling us all if we live long enough. The truth is that most of us have been through worse and have learned that this too shall pass. Life can change in an instant and, despite your best efforts and plans, the unexpected happens to us all. Count your blessings, relax your mind especially in the valley and always keep your eyes to the sky. The best is yet to come although sometimes you must go through hell to get there.