Happy Saturday! Here is one lesson that you need to start immediately.
The longer I live the more I see those who are guilty of the above offense. As an entrepreneur, I know that visibility and movement are important. You need to be visible and present if you intend to be an influencer or you want to maintain that status. However, this is also where so many fail.
The analogy of wedding preparation can be applied here. So many brides spend so much time fixated on the details: the gown, cake, pictures, bridal shower, menu items, decorations, etc. However, if more attention isn’t given to the character of the person you’re marrying, disaster is imminent. Too many of us do the same when it comes to other areas of our lives.
I laugh when people say, “I see you everywhere”. I quickly reply, “No, I only go where it makes sense”. For professional and personal reasons, it does not make sense for me to be “everywhere” or to have my reputation tainted by someone’s messiness or unsavory character. The same is true for you.
- Who do you spend the most of your time with? This includes face-to-face, telephone as well as on social media.
- Has their loyalty been proven? Some of us are guilty of calling people friends after just one or a few encounters. When you examine the people you spend the most time with, how many of them have had the opportunity to demonstrate their loyalty? Don’t make permanent decisions with temporary people.
- Who is the most supportive—them or you? I am not saying that you necessarily have to keep a scorecard, but you should question the friendship of anyone whom you find yourself constantly attending and promoting their events without them doing the same.
None of the above questions are intended to be vindictive or petty. Life has unique challenges and unexpected twists, so you need to be mindful of how you spend your time and with whom. Life is too short for you to be in the company of a bunch of freeloaders and dream killers, who will leave you when there is nothing left for them to take.
One statement I repeatedly share with inner circle: “If someone does not make a deposit in your life, they automatically make a withdrawal; there’s no gray area”. You cannot afford to allow anyone to make withdrawals when they haven’t made a deposit or invested any time, resources or energy in you. Check who’s riding in your boat and make sure they are not sabotaging you.

–Alesha Brown, The Joy Guru
Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker and Best Selling Author
CEO, Alesha Brown LLC